Black Metal Goat Yoga: Find Your Inner Darkness
(and Your Downward Dog)
Services
01
Classes
From Black Hot Power Yoga to Soothing Anaal Nathrakh Restorative Goat Yoga. We have what you need.
02
Training
Want to become BMGY.42069 Certified? We have you covered. Our level 3 MauveBelt instructors provide all the training materials, class work, and goats you need to follow your dreams.
03
Socializing
After a hard hour of Norwegian Power Fisting it might be time to blow off some steam. Pull up a chair to our fully stocked bar and order yourself a Beaver Beer Classic. Beer not your thing? Maybe 3 fingers of Wombat Whiskey is more your style. We carry the entire catalog of Lamprey Libations animal fermentations for your enjoyment.
Classes Offered
Conquer your fear of goat yoga with Emperor's New Bleat, a beginner-friendly vinyasa flow set to the symphonic black metal of Emperor.
No prior yoga or corpse paint experience required.
Crank the heat, summon the goats, and prepare to sweat your way to Valhalla in Black Hot Power Yoga.
This fiery flow combines intense poses, infernal temperatures, and the occasional goat nibble on your yoga mat.
Transcend the physical plane and enter a realm of frosty riffs and furry friends in Darkthrone Goat Flow.
This intermediate Hatha class will leave you feeling grim, frostbitten, and strangely blissed out.
Embrace the chaos and find your inner Dead with Mayhem & Meditation.
This restorative class features ambient black metal and maximum goat cuddles (burning churches optional).
Only the strongest will survive Immortal Goat Pose-ers.
This advanced power yoga class is set to the relentless blast beats of Immortal, and the goats might headbang harder than you do.
Achieve ultimate zen with Soothing Anaal Nathrakh Restorative Goat Yoga.
This deeply relaxing class combines gentle poses, furry goat snuggles, and the ear-splitting intensity of Anaal Nathrakh. Namaste.
About
Black Metal Goat Yoga is not your average yoga studio. It's a unique fitness experience where the serenity of yoga meets the raw intensity of black metal music. Imagine practicing your downward dog while adorable goats frolic around you, all set to the backdrop of blast beats and guttural vocals. This unexpected combination creates a surprisingly harmonious and darkly gothic environment where you can de-stress, get fit, and headbang with goats. Whether you're a seasoned yogi or a black metal devotee (or both!), Black Metal Goat Yoga offers a truly unforgettable way to find your inner peace (or inner demon).
Read about usA Proven Record of Yoga Excellence
“Emperor's New Bleat was the perfect intro to goat yoga! The vinyasa flow was surprisingly relaxing, even with the blast beats, and the goats were adorable (and surprisingly good at downward-facing dog).”
“Black Hot Power Yoga was brutal! The heat, the goats, the relentless blast beats...I've never sweat so much in my life, but I kinda loved it. I'll be back for more punishment next week!”
“Darkthrone Goat Flow was a transcendental experience! The combination of challenging Hatha poses and icy black metal riffs created a truly unique atmosphere. I left feeling invigorated, slightly frostbitten, and ready to conquer the underworld. I'm Bill Curtis.”
Unleash your inner beast and book your Black Metal Goat Yoga class today!
Embrace the darkness, find your zen, and prepare for an experience that's 666% more metal.