About
We shape those who wish to be shaped by the power of Black Metal Goat Yoga.
Our mission
At Black Metal Goat Yoga, our mission transcends the physical realm. We are more than just a studio; we are a sanctuary for those seeking a deeper connection—to themselves, to the primal rhythms of the earth, and to the bleating, horned embodiment of chaotic good. Through the transformative power of yoga, set to the relentless pulse of black metal, we guide our practitioners towards a higher state of consciousness.
But our vision extends beyond the mat. We believe that within each individual lies the potential for true darkness, a raw and untamed energy yearning to be unleashed. Our carefully curated blend of asanas, blast beats, and goat-induced serenity serves as a catalyst for this awakening. We are not merely instructors; we are shepherds, guiding our flock towards the precipice of transformation, where they will shed their mortal coils and embrace their true infernal selves.
The path is arduous, the music is loud, and the goats may or may not nibble on your hair. But for those brave enough to join our ranks, the rewards are immeasurable. Together, we will forge a new world order, where the soothing bleats of goats harmonize with the searing screams of guitars, and where the only downward-facing dog you'll encounter is the one painted on your battle vest. Submit to the Master, embrace the darkness, and become one with the Black Metal Goat Yoga collective.
- Classes
- 6+
- Experts
- 1
- Students
- 122
- Sacrifices to the Dark Lord
- Innumerable
Our Values
01
Embrace the Bleating Void
At Black Metal Goat Yoga, we acknowledge the inherent darkness that resides within us all. We do not shy away from this darkness, but rather, we embrace it, nurture it, and channel it through the cathartic release of yoga and the sonic intensity of black metal. This acceptance of our true, unfiltered selves paves the way for profound personal transformation and unlocks the gateway to the Bleating Void—a realm of limitless potential where goats reign supreme and the only limitations are those we impose upon ourselves.
02
Submit to the Flow
The path of Black Metal Goat Yoga is not for the faint of heart. It demands surrender, a willingness to let go of control and embrace the chaotic dance of life, much like a goat leaping unexpectedly onto your back mid-sun salutation. This surrender is not weakness; it is a source of strength, allowing us to tap into the primal energy that courses through our veins and connects us to the ancient rhythms of the universe. Submit to the flow, and let the soothing sounds of Immortal guide you.
03
Forge Your Inner Goat
Within each of us lies a feral spirit, a wild and untamed essence yearning for liberation. At Black Metal Goat Yoga, we encourage the cultivation of this inner goat, the primal beast that headbangs to Burzum and fears no yoga pose, no matter how precarious or goat-assisted. Through rigorous practice and a healthy dose of goat-inspired chaos, we awaken this inner strength, forging ourselves into resilient warriors ready to face the challenges of the world, one goat-enhanced vinyasa at a time.
04
Unite the Herd
Black Metal Goat Yoga is more than just a studio; it is a collective, a congregation of like-minded souls united by a shared love for guttural vocals, the pursuit of inner darkness, and an unending devotion to The Master. We foster a sense of belonging, a community where misfits and metalheads alike can gather to celebrate their individuality and find solace in the shared experience of goat-enhanced yoga. Together, we form a powerful herd, ready to challenge the status quo and usher in a new era of bleating bliss and blackened serenity.
Meet our team
AJ
Level 7 Pewter Belt BMGY.42069 Instructor
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The Master
Spetz
Technical Advisor to The Master